"Sue : And you got these fucking claws and these fangs... Trent : And you got these fucking claws and these fangs, man! And you're looking at your claws and you're looking at your fangs. And you're thinking to yourself, you don't know what to do, man."

If you haven't watched Swingers from back in the 90's then you are missing out. Just saying that right now. But if you have then there's a great scene where Vince Vaughn's character Trent is talking to his buddy Nikki (Jon Favreau) about approaching women. It's centered around confidence and how you need to look at yourself and see all the incredible things you have and take the bull by the horns.

It's about confidence!

Confidence is that underlying belief in yourself and awareness that allows you to walk into a room and feel comfortable, assure, and unafraid of rejection or doubt. Being timid or uncertain in your resume, cover letter, and interviews can only detract from what you actually possess and have from a skillset and talent. But confidence can be really hard to hold onto when you've been through a layoff or firing or 'reduction in headcount'. When you think that everything that you were doing, all the great work you delivered, the sales you closed, mentoring and coaching you provided that in the end you are still out of work.

Confidence is an emotion attached to circumstance.

You've had a great week at work, you nailed a presentation, you had some great wins and your confidence is high. You feel like you are really making an impact and that things are only looking up. The bear is roaming the woods satiated and looking to hunt for more.

But when things are down, you had an argument with your partner, your car is making noises, you just got a bill for something you forgot to pay, all of those little things can be compounded and that confidence meter is now getting close to empty. Then add a huge life event like losing a job and your meter is past empty and barely scraping on fumes. The bear is now just looking to hibernate and crawl into his cave.

But that's where you can really look to grow. When the shit hits the fan, you can choose to slink away or just keep moving forward. The bear still needs to eat.

Getting the confidence back is fucking hard.

Man, is it really hard. In my own life it's been a real rollercoaster. Getting let go from my company, having my wife go through a really hard surgery, dealing with bills, it's a struggle.

But I'm trying to just keep moving forward. Leaning on my friends, enjoying the time with my kids, building out my portfolio site, and talking to as many people as possible. You realize that you have so much around you and sometimes we can get so trapped in the day-to-day that going through the shit can make you stronger and more resolute.

I'm going to keep moving forward and come out from this better in the end, but it's not easy and will probably get harder but having the confidence in myself is what matters. I can do it.